Tahiti: There's nothing else like it in the world.
You never know how many hues of blue exist until you travel to Tahiti. When you stare at the water, swirls of jade, indigo, emerald, and azure sketch a liquid canvas before you. Splashes of cobalt play off shades of aqua so rare even Martha Stewart would be hard pressed to name them.
With such a dense and changeable palate, it's small wonder Tahiti rates as the sole place I've traveled to where the brochures lie in the opposite direction. Instead of inflating things, print representations slander the 3—D truth. Only by coming here and breathing the hibiscus and frangipani, feeling the silk of the sand, and seeing the apocalyptic sunsets, can you get the real picture.
As it happens, Tahiti - and the 117 surrounding islands in French Polynesia - needs to floor you to just that degree to forgive the travel time it takes to arrive, as well as the potential cost in staying.
Venturing to its most popular islands - Bora Bora and Moorea - can run you roughly the same price as the down payment on your first house. But it can also be surprisingly reasonable if you take advantage of the package deals provided by the country's main jet line, Air Tahiti Nui. Also, once you get here, you can cut down your costs significantly by being mindful of a host of hidden tricks.
(Ty Sawyer)
There's just one thing you can't get around: You'll have to fly to L.A. in a separate jaunt first. Air Tahiti scrapped their non-stops from New York last year. The good news is, you can do that for no more than $300 round trip, given the stiff, cross-country competition. Also, if you stay a spell in L.A., you can take advantage of the fact that the time between there and Pepete (Tahiti's main city) is just 8 hours, no longer than it would take to get from New York to much of Europe.
The best of Air Tahiti's recent deals have offered a full week of hotels, your breakfasts, transfers, and ferries between the main island and Moorea, plus round trip air fare from L.A. all for $1700. That's a steal considering you'd pay $1450 just to go from LAX to the local Faa'a airport in high season. Better, once you're here they're not sticking you in some dump.
The basic plan has you staying two nights at the Intercontinental in Tahiti, whose airy lobby boasts a view of Moorea, located a mere half hour away by ferry - or 10 minutes by air. The Intercontinental Morrea, where you'd spend five nights, is downright killer. But more on that later.
Most people treat the main island as just a transfer point before heading off to their more prized destinations. And while you could easily view it that way, there's more to do here than it first seems. There's also a far greater chance to interact with real Polynesians here than you'd have on many of the more remote, holiday-centric islands. It's here you're most likely to hear about the typical post-Colonial cultural tensions, which can run high. According to Polynesians, the once ruling French still act like they own the place, not to mention nab all the prime jobs. From the French folks' point of view, the locals just want to fish and grow fruit and could care less about anything more ambitious.
If it's true that Polynesians still do much of their own fishing and farming, it's not due to laziness, or the fact that they've been doing those things for centuries. It's because there's no other way most folks around here can afford things. While you would expect resorts - especially those on a super remote island - to charge through the nose, even a mini mart here boasts prices triple what you'd pay in Manhattan.
That's even more brutally true for alcohol. Think: 3 bucks for a small can of beer, and nearly $50 for a bottle of Vodka. Which leads to savings hint No. 1: Hit the duty free shops in the airport when you arrive and snap up all the booze you're likely to consume. That will spare you the pain of shelling out for mixed drinks at the hotels, which can go for the I'm-not-kidding price of $22 a piece.
The one cheap thing? Baguettes. You can get a huge one for around 65 cents. The ubiquity of these crusty wonders accounts for the long objects that look like mail boxes that lie in front of all the houses. (They're poised for in-coming deliveries of the lengthy breads).
As far as activities on your (likely) brief stay on the main island, you should definitely take a 4X4 safari foray. The best ones go inland, which get you closer to the real Tahiti. But even the more routine brand, which trace the 75 mile perimeter of the island, have their charms. Along the way, you'll see Point Venus with its iconic white lighthouse from 1867, located in an area named by explorer Captain Cook. This is also where key parts of both "Mutiny On the Bounties" were shot: the great one with Marlon Brando and the later, dippy one with Mel Gibson. (Brando loved the islands so much, he bought one). There's also a museum on the route commemorating the home of James Norman Hall, who wrote the book the movies were based on. On the road, you'll spy a wealth of flora and fauna worth sniffing - including countless varieties of poinsettia, ginger plants, and birds of paradise. But, to me, the stand out plants were the willowy Australian pines, boasting needles as fine as fur.
The best known local museum doubles as the most skip-worthy It's dedicated to the post-Impressionist artist/proto-sex tourist, Paul Gauguin, who famously painted his local objects of desire (including pre-pubescents). The place boasts not a single original painting, just cheap knock offs and kitschy posters. It's an on-going irritation that the French haven't allowed any real Gauguins to come back to the place that so inspired him. Even at a cheap $3 entry fee, the museum isn't worth it. Also save the $6 entrance fee for the Botanical Garden, located next door. The whole island is one big botany preserve, so why bother?
Better to stop off at the many thrilling cascades along the snaking two-lane highway which encircles the island. They shoot their water in fine sprays down from great, post-volcanic heights. Also worthy are the fern grottos seen in various parks with their lush lotus leaves and fresh spring waters. For those intrigued by human sacrifice (and who isn't?) there's Marae Arahurahu, a bed of rocks where those poor souls chosen for death (usually warriors) were put out to expire from exposure.
You'll also spy some prime surfing areas on the route, most famously Teahupoo. But you'll need a boat to reach the challenging breaks. The area around Tahiti is woefully shallow. The good news: That makes it safe to stop anywhere and enjoy the beaches, all of which are composed of black volcanic sand (as opposed to white granules on every other island).
Most resorts lie some distance from downtown Papeete, which means you can't walk in. Luckily, ample buses trace the root. You can catch them for about $1. That's far preferable to cabs, which will run $15 to $20 for a short ride, due to the sky high cost of gasoline ($12 a gallon). During the day in downtown, you shouldn't miss the giant Papeete Municipal Market, a 75,000 square foot totem to flowers, crafts, and fresh fish. You'll also see examples of the native obsession: tattooing. It's a good place as well to pick up some rich and filling baguette sandwiches, which can be had for less than $4.
(Ty Sawyer)
You can also get cheap eats if you troll the downtown dock area from around 6:30 to 8:30 in the evening. Here you'll find "La Roulotte," a roving band of food trucks that sell plentiful street fare divided by ethnicity, from Chinese to Italian to various Poly-French blends. Locals come here when they don't want to cook, making this another rare place to get away from the hermetically-sealed life of the resorts to cavort with actual citizens.
Nightlife on Tahiti may beat every other island, which, for the most part, is deader than dead. Even so, it only pumps hard on weekends. Visitors with a whimsical view of gender may enjoy the downtown club Pianos which caters to the local androgynous set. There's no shortage of that here, given a Polynesian tradition in which the 7th child of any prodigious household is raised as a girl, no matter their chromosomal make-up. That has some nice benefits for all, including creating a culture of acceptance for everyone up and down the Kinsey scale.
A good time to explore the Municipal Market would be just before you hop the ferry to Moorea. The place is located just 2 blocks from the docking site. Once you've crossed to the other island, you'll be picked up by your designated driver who'll whisk you along the plush route to the Intercontinental Moorea, half an hour north.
Be warned, however: Those who opt for the Air Tahiti package won't get to stay in one of those gigantic, super-private, over-water bungalow rooms you may have dreamt of. You'll get a "Lanai" room on the land. Luckily, they're of ample size and offer access to the richness of the entire property. If you want an upgrade, it costs $150 per night extra to move to a room with a water view and access to the lagoon. You'll have to shell out $300 more a night to get into one of those bungalow dream palaces.
Of the three top island destinations, Moorea presents the ideal balance, for my taste. It's more remote and pristine than Tahiti but not as isolated as Bora Bora, where, for the most part, you're beholden to your resort for all activities, as well as all your food and drink. At the Intercontinental in Moorea there's a little store right across the road where you can pick up all kinds of cheaper drinks and snacks. Moorea also boasts lots of quaint little restaurants, which are often more interesting and less expensive, than the hotels dining options. Many will send a free car to pick you up. Either that or you can bike there, a brilliant option, especially for a cycling fiend like me.
My fave day in Moorea involved a bike trip that took me around the entire island. I did the long 40 mile run in 4 and a half blissful hours. Biking the route allows you to take in all the mountain peaks (which look like Tiki Gods themselves), as well as to witness the hi-def vegetation. Moorea also boasts a more exotic feel than Bora Bora, at least for Americans: More tourists travel from France. Bora Bora boasts more from the States.
If biking makes for an ideal way to see the periphery of the island, getting to the guts of the place requires an inner island safari tour. These will whisk you up to an amazing Belvedere where your guide will inevitably claim that the peak you spy (Magic Mountain) was the model for the famous "Bali Hi" in "South Pacific." Turns out, guides in Bora Bora make the same claim about their summit spot. Either way, it's a great vista from which to gaze at the two main bays on the north side of the island: Cooks Bay and Opunohu.
Another popular attraction can be found right on the Intercontinental grounds: the Dolphin Center. Here you can get jump in with these Flipper wanna-bes and swim along. You can also touch their teeth and kiss them, but given the fact that their skin feels like cold rubber, you may not want to. In fact, you can see the best part of the dolphin show (their balletic leaps into air) from the bridge that leads to their tank. Watch from there and can pocket the $100 per person fee it costs just to jump in and cop a quick feel.
There's also a cheaper way around another prized activity: petting sting rays. The question of why you would want to is another matter. (They feel like jello somebody sneezed on). Better just to gaze on them. For $10 you can get a boat guy to take you out to a remote island where the rays frolic. He'll leave you there for about 2 hours, giving you plenty of time to see the creatures, as well as lots of space for you to snorkel. For the best of the latter, head for the darker areas in the water. That means there's coral, which the fish feed on. You'll have to go this distance to do any decent snorkeling. The lagoon around the resort only attracts the smallest and dullest fish.
There's also excellent snorkling around Bora Bora, not to mention shark sightings for the brave (and even for me). Some call Bora Bora "Boring Boring," because there's nothing to do here but hang out at your resort and take part in, well... whatever newlyweds do. (Considering that, maybe they should call this place "Boing! Boing!") Luckily, even those not in an amorous mood will find themselves smitten with the natural land and sea. The colors of the water so enliven, it can seem like your own personal cinematographer has come along to light your eyelids from the inside.
I enjoyed the sights most during a full morning's boat expedition, which involved a trip out to feel the historically fine sand called Tahitian Cream. It feels like a cross between paper mache and Play Dough. You can also indulge in more sting ray petting here. Turns out, these slimy creatures are as needy for attention as dogs. Here too you can swim with 6 (!) foot Lemon Sharks. Actually, you're swimming over them since (as my guide repeatedly assured me) they stay 20 feet down. Still, with water as clear as glass, you'll feel like they're a lot closer.
These boat trips usually include a Motu picnic, a true event. (Motus are inlet islands. Most resorts are located on them, the better to boast views back to the main island). The picnics can be lavish affairs, held while the boat men serenade you with local music, played on a Polynesian ukulele. The local version of the instrument has six strings, as opposed to the four stringed Hawaiian-type, making for a harder, fuller sound that's nearly akin to a banjo. It's a great romantic backdrop to the feast, which usually includes grilled bread fruit, coconut bread, Mahi, Mahi, and my favorite local dish: Poisson Cru, (literally: raw fish).
A cousin to ceviche, Poisson Cru involves just red tuna, lime, salt, carrot, onion, pickled cucumber and coconut milk. It's cold, crunchy, sweet and meaty all at once.
Ultimately, it's this crisp dish that will get me back to Tahiti. I have yet to find it faithfully rendered in New York. Which makes it akin to the beauty of Tahiti itself. There's nothing else like it in the world.
You never know how many hues of blue exist until you travel to Tahiti. When you stare at the water, swirls of jade, indigo, emerald, and azure sketch a liquid canvas before you. Splashes of cobalt play off shades of aqua so rare even Martha Stewart would be hard pressed to name them.
With such a dense and changeable palate, it's small wonder Tahiti rates as the sole place I've traveled to where the brochures lie in the opposite direction. Instead of inflating things, print representations slander the 3—D truth. Only by coming here and breathing the hibiscus and frangipani, feeling the silk of the sand, and seeing the apocalyptic sunsets, can you get the real picture.
As it happens, Tahiti - and the 117 surrounding islands in French Polynesia - needs to floor you to just that degree to forgive the travel time it takes to arrive, as well as the potential cost in staying.
Venturing to its most popular islands - Bora Bora and Moorea - can run you roughly the same price as the down payment on your first house. But it can also be surprisingly reasonable if you take advantage of the package deals provided by the country's main jet line, Air Tahiti Nui. Also, once you get here, you can cut down your costs significantly by being mindful of a host of hidden tricks.
(Ty Sawyer)
There's just one thing you can't get around: You'll have to fly to L.A. in a separate jaunt first. Air Tahiti scrapped their non-stops from New York last year. The good news is, you can do that for no more than $300 round trip, given the stiff, cross-country competition. Also, if you stay a spell in L.A., you can take advantage of the fact that the time between there and Pepete (Tahiti's main city) is just 8 hours, no longer than it would take to get from New York to much of Europe.
The best of Air Tahiti's recent deals have offered a full week of hotels, your breakfasts, transfers, and ferries between the main island and Moorea, plus round trip air fare from L.A. all for $1700. That's a steal considering you'd pay $1450 just to go from LAX to the local Faa'a airport in high season. Better, once you're here they're not sticking you in some dump.
The basic plan has you staying two nights at the Intercontinental in Tahiti, whose airy lobby boasts a view of Moorea, located a mere half hour away by ferry - or 10 minutes by air. The Intercontinental Morrea, where you'd spend five nights, is downright killer. But more on that later.
Most people treat the main island as just a transfer point before heading off to their more prized destinations. And while you could easily view it that way, there's more to do here than it first seems. There's also a far greater chance to interact with real Polynesians here than you'd have on many of the more remote, holiday-centric islands. It's here you're most likely to hear about the typical post-Colonial cultural tensions, which can run high. According to Polynesians, the once ruling French still act like they own the place, not to mention nab all the prime jobs. From the French folks' point of view, the locals just want to fish and grow fruit and could care less about anything more ambitious.
If it's true that Polynesians still do much of their own fishing and farming, it's not due to laziness, or the fact that they've been doing those things for centuries. It's because there's no other way most folks around here can afford things. While you would expect resorts - especially those on a super remote island - to charge through the nose, even a mini mart here boasts prices triple what you'd pay in Manhattan.
That's even more brutally true for alcohol. Think: 3 bucks for a small can of beer, and nearly $50 for a bottle of Vodka. Which leads to savings hint No. 1: Hit the duty free shops in the airport when you arrive and snap up all the booze you're likely to consume. That will spare you the pain of shelling out for mixed drinks at the hotels, which can go for the I'm-not-kidding price of $22 a piece.
The one cheap thing? Baguettes. You can get a huge one for around 65 cents. The ubiquity of these crusty wonders accounts for the long objects that look like mail boxes that lie in front of all the houses. (They're poised for in-coming deliveries of the lengthy breads).
As far as activities on your (likely) brief stay on the main island, you should definitely take a 4X4 safari foray. The best ones go inland, which get you closer to the real Tahiti. But even the more routine brand, which trace the 75 mile perimeter of the island, have their charms. Along the way, you'll see Point Venus with its iconic white lighthouse from 1867, located in an area named by explorer Captain Cook. This is also where key parts of both "Mutiny On the Bounties" were shot: the great one with Marlon Brando and the later, dippy one with Mel Gibson. (Brando loved the islands so much, he bought one). There's also a museum on the route commemorating the home of James Norman Hall, who wrote the book the movies were based on. On the road, you'll spy a wealth of flora and fauna worth sniffing - including countless varieties of poinsettia, ginger plants, and birds of paradise. But, to me, the stand out plants were the willowy Australian pines, boasting needles as fine as fur.
The best known local museum doubles as the most skip-worthy It's dedicated to the post-Impressionist artist/proto-sex tourist, Paul Gauguin, who famously painted his local objects of desire (including pre-pubescents). The place boasts not a single original painting, just cheap knock offs and kitschy posters. It's an on-going irritation that the French haven't allowed any real Gauguins to come back to the place that so inspired him. Even at a cheap $3 entry fee, the museum isn't worth it. Also save the $6 entrance fee for the Botanical Garden, located next door. The whole island is one big botany preserve, so why bother?
Better to stop off at the many thrilling cascades along the snaking two-lane highway which encircles the island. They shoot their water in fine sprays down from great, post-volcanic heights. Also worthy are the fern grottos seen in various parks with their lush lotus leaves and fresh spring waters. For those intrigued by human sacrifice (and who isn't?) there's Marae Arahurahu, a bed of rocks where those poor souls chosen for death (usually warriors) were put out to expire from exposure.
You'll also spy some prime surfing areas on the route, most famously Teahupoo. But you'll need a boat to reach the challenging breaks. The area around Tahiti is woefully shallow. The good news: That makes it safe to stop anywhere and enjoy the beaches, all of which are composed of black volcanic sand (as opposed to white granules on every other island).
Most resorts lie some distance from downtown Papeete, which means you can't walk in. Luckily, ample buses trace the root. You can catch them for about $1. That's far preferable to cabs, which will run $15 to $20 for a short ride, due to the sky high cost of gasoline ($12 a gallon). During the day in downtown, you shouldn't miss the giant Papeete Municipal Market, a 75,000 square foot totem to flowers, crafts, and fresh fish. You'll also see examples of the native obsession: tattooing. It's a good place as well to pick up some rich and filling baguette sandwiches, which can be had for less than $4.
(Ty Sawyer)
You can also get cheap eats if you troll the downtown dock area from around 6:30 to 8:30 in the evening. Here you'll find "La Roulotte," a roving band of food trucks that sell plentiful street fare divided by ethnicity, from Chinese to Italian to various Poly-French blends. Locals come here when they don't want to cook, making this another rare place to get away from the hermetically-sealed life of the resorts to cavort with actual citizens.
Nightlife on Tahiti may beat every other island, which, for the most part, is deader than dead. Even so, it only pumps hard on weekends. Visitors with a whimsical view of gender may enjoy the downtown club Pianos which caters to the local androgynous set. There's no shortage of that here, given a Polynesian tradition in which the 7th child of any prodigious household is raised as a girl, no matter their chromosomal make-up. That has some nice benefits for all, including creating a culture of acceptance for everyone up and down the Kinsey scale.
A good time to explore the Municipal Market would be just before you hop the ferry to Moorea. The place is located just 2 blocks from the docking site. Once you've crossed to the other island, you'll be picked up by your designated driver who'll whisk you along the plush route to the Intercontinental Moorea, half an hour north.
Be warned, however: Those who opt for the Air Tahiti package won't get to stay in one of those gigantic, super-private, over-water bungalow rooms you may have dreamt of. You'll get a "Lanai" room on the land. Luckily, they're of ample size and offer access to the richness of the entire property. If you want an upgrade, it costs $150 per night extra to move to a room with a water view and access to the lagoon. You'll have to shell out $300 more a night to get into one of those bungalow dream palaces.
Of the three top island destinations, Moorea presents the ideal balance, for my taste. It's more remote and pristine than Tahiti but not as isolated as Bora Bora, where, for the most part, you're beholden to your resort for all activities, as well as all your food and drink. At the Intercontinental in Moorea there's a little store right across the road where you can pick up all kinds of cheaper drinks and snacks. Moorea also boasts lots of quaint little restaurants, which are often more interesting and less expensive, than the hotels dining options. Many will send a free car to pick you up. Either that or you can bike there, a brilliant option, especially for a cycling fiend like me.
My fave day in Moorea involved a bike trip that took me around the entire island. I did the long 40 mile run in 4 and a half blissful hours. Biking the route allows you to take in all the mountain peaks (which look like Tiki Gods themselves), as well as to witness the hi-def vegetation. Moorea also boasts a more exotic feel than Bora Bora, at least for Americans: More tourists travel from France. Bora Bora boasts more from the States.
If biking makes for an ideal way to see the periphery of the island, getting to the guts of the place requires an inner island safari tour. These will whisk you up to an amazing Belvedere where your guide will inevitably claim that the peak you spy (Magic Mountain) was the model for the famous "Bali Hi" in "South Pacific." Turns out, guides in Bora Bora make the same claim about their summit spot. Either way, it's a great vista from which to gaze at the two main bays on the north side of the island: Cooks Bay and Opunohu.
Another popular attraction can be found right on the Intercontinental grounds: the Dolphin Center. Here you can get jump in with these Flipper wanna-bes and swim along. You can also touch their teeth and kiss them, but given the fact that their skin feels like cold rubber, you may not want to. In fact, you can see the best part of the dolphin show (their balletic leaps into air) from the bridge that leads to their tank. Watch from there and can pocket the $100 per person fee it costs just to jump in and cop a quick feel.
There's also a cheaper way around another prized activity: petting sting rays. The question of why you would want to is another matter. (They feel like jello somebody sneezed on). Better just to gaze on them. For $10 you can get a boat guy to take you out to a remote island where the rays frolic. He'll leave you there for about 2 hours, giving you plenty of time to see the creatures, as well as lots of space for you to snorkel. For the best of the latter, head for the darker areas in the water. That means there's coral, which the fish feed on. You'll have to go this distance to do any decent snorkeling. The lagoon around the resort only attracts the smallest and dullest fish.
There's also excellent snorkling around Bora Bora, not to mention shark sightings for the brave (and even for me). Some call Bora Bora "Boring Boring," because there's nothing to do here but hang out at your resort and take part in, well... whatever newlyweds do. (Considering that, maybe they should call this place "Boing! Boing!") Luckily, even those not in an amorous mood will find themselves smitten with the natural land and sea. The colors of the water so enliven, it can seem like your own personal cinematographer has come along to light your eyelids from the inside.
I enjoyed the sights most during a full morning's boat expedition, which involved a trip out to feel the historically fine sand called Tahitian Cream. It feels like a cross between paper mache and Play Dough. You can also indulge in more sting ray petting here. Turns out, these slimy creatures are as needy for attention as dogs. Here too you can swim with 6 (!) foot Lemon Sharks. Actually, you're swimming over them since (as my guide repeatedly assured me) they stay 20 feet down. Still, with water as clear as glass, you'll feel like they're a lot closer.
These boat trips usually include a Motu picnic, a true event. (Motus are inlet islands. Most resorts are located on them, the better to boast views back to the main island). The picnics can be lavish affairs, held while the boat men serenade you with local music, played on a Polynesian ukulele. The local version of the instrument has six strings, as opposed to the four stringed Hawaiian-type, making for a harder, fuller sound that's nearly akin to a banjo. It's a great romantic backdrop to the feast, which usually includes grilled bread fruit, coconut bread, Mahi, Mahi, and my favorite local dish: Poisson Cru, (literally: raw fish).
A cousin to ceviche, Poisson Cru involves just red tuna, lime, salt, carrot, onion, pickled cucumber and coconut milk. It's cold, crunchy, sweet and meaty all at once.
Ultimately, it's this crisp dish that will get me back to Tahiti. I have yet to find it faithfully rendered in New York. Which makes it akin to the beauty of Tahiti itself. There's nothing else like it in the world.
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